Many of you know me from visiting Curio, Craft & Conjure – while others have taken my programs or worked with me privately. In any case, most of you know that I lost 5 people who were very close to me in 2016.
That experience left me with a heightened awareness of the many aspects of our being: Ghosts, Guides & Gods.
Prior to these losses, my belief was that when people died, they did not really change “energetically”. If they loved you, they still loved you. If they were good, they were still good. If they weren’t so good, they weren’t suddenly exalted by death.
After these losses, I had many spiritual experiences that helped me have a different understanding of who some of us become when we die.
Goldie – (my children’s father) and Hashaleena (my partner) provided the most visceral experiences as Ghosts, Guides & Gods. In this newsletter, I’ll focus on Goldie.
Each experience allowed me to know these aspects of him – aspects I had never heard about from any medium, book or other resources.
Shortly after his death, my new family experienced a little “family drama”.
I raised Goldie’s oldest son for a good 8 years and hadn’t seen him in over 15 when Goldie transitioned. He was among the many with us at the end of Goldie’s days. Goldie and I had already discussed that his youngest, who he was raising alone, would come with me. We were all surrounded around Goldie’s death bed when his oldest announced: “I’m going with them Dad.”
I had assumed this was cool with Goldie, but also noticed the look on his dying face telling another story.
Fast forward: Goldie as Guide
Everything appeared to be going fine. We were all in mourning.
One night, I dreamt of Goldie telling me not to trust his oldest. That he was lying about how close they were – and shared other information that I will not include here (but he was very specific). Goldie warned me he would be a problem and that he needed to leave. He also told me that when I told him to leave, he would be with me.
As this was a dream, I looked for outside confirmation, which I received from 3 sources. This was important to me because I only had good memories of his oldest.
The most poignant confirmation came from Goldie’s best friend, Big Jim. Big Jim is this huge redneck looking white guy who I didn’t know from “Adam”. That said, if he was Goldie’s friend, I knew I could trust him. Jim called to ask if he could visit Goldie’s youngest. He wanted to check up on him. I told him could stay as long as he liked. My new son missed this man and looked forward to seeing him.
There was a day during his short stay when no one was home except Big-Jim and I. I took advantage of this moment to ask him how close Goldie and his oldest were. He said in all the time he knew Goldie, he never saw him. He said they were not close at all.
Goldie as Ghost
I waited until New Year’s Eve to tell Goldie’s oldest he had to leave. Gianna and I were in the dining room, beading while listening to Spotify when the oldest came home. I called him into the dining room and asked him to have a seat. As soon as I did this, I felt a presence on my right, and a song, (that we all knew as Goldie’s energy), came on. I told him he had a month to move while this song played in the background. It was an odd, long, magickal moment – that we all felt.
Goldie as Ghost has a playlist, each song meaning something: One is a warning, one is just him hanging out with us, and one is support.
Goldie as God
Each of us are an aspect of the Creator in form. This aspect is our ascended, exalted self.
This aspect of Goldie is James. (Hashaleenas God-Self also has another name). James looks similar, but not exactly like Goldie. Both my daughter and I were unknowingly seeing the same image of this version of him. Gianna sees His reflection in our glass storm door, I see him mostly in meditation. Here, he provides profound wisdom – if I am open to hearing it.
Each of these forms are very powerful in their own way. I find the Ghost aspect is driven more by emotion. The Guide aspect is driven more support, and the God aspect is driven by love.
Keep this in mind when creating your ancestor altar or in just communing with your folks on the other side.