The word “divorce” carries “bad thing” energy.
However, my divorce (the way the word is intended) was one of the best things that happened to my ex-husband and me. Just like our marriage.
We’re the very best of friends. (This would not be possible if it weren’t for “the divorce”.)
So, while the word can initially put us in a tizzy, consider this: “What if the meaning of the word is equivalent to “releasing what is no longer in alignment with you?”
At this very moment, (yes – as you read this), I am experiencing an “identity divorce.”
Every title we claim comes with an “identity”.
And my identity of “Mother” is shifting from “Mother of a child” to “Mother of an adult”.
“Mother” has been my role for 27 years. And I like it.
To divorce a role I like comes with a certain amount of reflection.
Two questions I ask myself include: “What did I like about this role?” and more importantly: “What do I want less of with this role?”
What did I discover?
First, I discovered that there are layers to this whole “identity” thing.
Layer 1: I like helping, guiding, and teaching. So, as a mentor and Mother of an adult, I get to keep that.
Layer 2: I don’t like “butt wiping.” With small children this is limited to actual butt wiping. With adults…well…it just feels like it.
The desire for “Micro Guidance” from many potential students is a challenge, because of the “butt wiping baggage” it comes with. All of the sudden, I am a parent to an adult I didn’t give birth to.
Answer: Choose my students wisely. If I won’t take this from my own daughter, I refuse it from anyone else.
Layer 3: My current “divorce” has allowed me to see my own parental references.
I raised my daughter in a similar environment I was raised in: “Suburbia”. It has become part of my identity. (Read: I am my parents.)
Realization: I’m NOT my parents.
Now that I am ready to move from “parent” to “me” – I realize how much responsibility I have embraced to keep up with this image.
So – I’m ready to draw up the papers. I don’t want to keep up with the Joneses or my parents. Identity Divorce, here we come!
Enough about me…what’s YOUR identity?
What is behind THAT??
You Are Loved ~