When my partner died last August, naturally, I was a mess. I will never forget my daughter entering my room, where she saw I was still in bed…and then she realized I was crying. She came over to the bed, got under the covers, and held me as I wept.
Holding Space comes in many forms. Essentially, it means that we walk alongside another person during their journey, whatever journey they’re on. We do this without judgment and in support. We compassionately open our hearts to their experience.
My daughter (and many others) did this for me as I mourned, but I also see all of my roles, as a mother, mentor, and Holistic Intuitive – in the same light.
Where are you holding space for others?
To truly support people in their growth, transformation, healing, grief, etc., we have to be prepared to step aside as they make their own choices. We offer support, give guidance, and make them feel safe – even when they make mistakes.
This is something that ALL of us can do for each other – for our partners, children, friends, neighbors, and yes – even strangers.
The 5 Foundations of Holding Space
- Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom. I have found that often, when I am asking for someone’s advice, it’s because I want confirmation of what I already know, (or worse, I want to be talked out of what I know). Ask how they feel about next steps, the situation etc, so that you’re not supplying “the answers”.
- Give people only as much information as they can handle. Too much information often makes people feel overwhelmed. Whether I am giving a reading or coaching a private client, I know to be sensitive to where they are. (Psychic Summer School also teaches the art of tactful divination
- Keep your ego out. We all sometimes think that someone else’s success is dependent on our intervention, (or think their failure reflects poorly on us). To truly support another’s growth, create the space where they have the opportunity to grow..and..
- Make them feel safe enough to fail. When people are learning, growing, or going through grief or transition, they will make mistakes. As a Space Holder, offer them the opportunity to reach inside themselves to find the courage and the resilience to keep going when they fail – withhold shame.
- Create a container for the crazy emotions that pop up. When people safe, complex emotions that might normally remain hidden will surface. When people feel safe enough to break-down without judgement or shame, it allows the release of emotions that makes room for growth and healing.
We all need support. We need each other. When you are part of a heart centered community, the community holds space for you, too.